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I've always been envious of big families. Cousins, Uncles, Grandmothers. I never had that. I do have relatives, but none of them even know that I exist. You see, my parents have a lot of cousins, and they're all close with each other, except for my family.
My dad's side of the family is nothing out of the ordinary. He has many cousins but has decided to not keep in touch with any of them. I don't even know the names of my second cousins (from my dad's side). I know I shouldn't hold it againt him for not being close with his family but I do. I just can't help but feel if he was closer with his family, I'd have more relatives. Instead, none of them know I exist.
My mother's side is a little more interesting. My Mother's family were extremely rich. They owned hundreds of properties across the world, with millions of dollars under everyone's name. A few tragedies occured, a few bad marriges and... pretty much everyone on my mother's side of the family lost everything they've worked for and are currently living in poverty. They all blame my grandmother and her daughter (my aunt) for the loss of our wealth, and so naturally I'm not close with any of my distant relatives from my mother's side either.
Now my grandmother (mother's side) is extremely sick and needs surgery, and we don't have the money for it. She lives abroad in a country which doesn't provide any health care whatsoever. I can't even be there to comfort her. I want to get a job and pay for her surgery but I'm only 18. I'm just so tired of life. I feel like I was just born to be punished. I know everyone has problems but it's times like this where I wished I had cousins and siblings to help me out. I'm her eldest grandson and I know it's my responsibility to help her pay for this surgery. And I do want to help her, I'd do anything for her, I just don't know how. I mean, I just turned 18. I don't even know how to formulate a resume yet, let alone find a well paying job that'll pay for a $50,000 surgery.
I genuinely hate my life.
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