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Anger and darkness in my head. I want people to know what goes on in my head. But why am I like this? Why did God create me like this? I cant find a purpose. Never had friends, never dated anybody, I dont even really have online friends. I isolate my self and fuel my anger. I block people out and relish on my sadistic thoughts. Torture, disfuguration, pain. Perhaps love can help me. It would make me feel accepted. To be loved. But i hardly have any desirable traits. I'm slow in school. I keep getting frustrated and cant think straight. Emotionally unstable. I dont look good. I'm working on my weight, but I need to work harder. I look at pretty girls and get depressed because I feel I cant have love. No one ever had an interest in me. What would they see? I want girls to know my struggles. I sometimes draw gore, torture rooms, weapons, and angrily write words. So much conflict in my mind. I dont know if what I am going through counts as pain.
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It does sound like you could do with some therapy , anger management maybe. And maybe some confidence skills too. Everyone has self doubts. Iām sure your really not all that different to the rest of us loons. You need to make friends real friends. Online you never know who your getting.
ReplyYou are not, indeed, in pain. You need to see someone, and im not saying that in a rude way, im saying that in a concerned way. I believe you should go to a psychologist and therapist. You don't need to worry about finding love, you need to worry about your mental health before ANYTHING else. Your appearance doesn't matter unless you are severely obese or severely underweight. You MUST see a doctor.
ReplyI GET WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. I swear im the same way. I wake up everyday and do the same thing over and over, i go to school, i come home, nothing changes, and it makes me question my existence. My mind is so dark i dont even know what to do with it. Someone makes me mad and my head instantly jumps to "kill them", or something worse. I get in this sick, psychotic moods atleast 3 times a year, and they all last about 2 months, and during those times i want to kill everyone, well actually i want to torture everyone, i want to make everyone hurt like i do. I dont even know why im in pain, i just am. And I want to tell my family or anyone whats going on with me but i dont even know how to explain it or make myself not sound demented. I see guys in my school, or people in relationships and get so depressed bc ive never had that and i dont think i will ever have it. I feel like i cant do anything right, and i am only here on this earth for other peoples needs. Bc all i have ever been able to do it makes others happy or laugh, never myself. I go on the dark web way to often, this point i even go on when im bored, idk i really need help, or love, or death, dont really know anymore. But im really glad im not the only one feeling this way. If you ever need help, jk actually i cant help anyone bc i cant even help myself, but if you ever need someone to talk to or vent to, hmu on insta? @mavis_bbeaconn
ReplyFirst please seek help like a therapist, because at some point someone at some time wants some help, guidance. Heck... that is why I am here because i feel like I am in a rut. I have been in your situation, but if you want something, the first thing is to work on you! What will make you feel better? Hit the gym, get on a group and go do it. Read uplifting things, make art, be you! Find that happiness and work on it
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