Not who you think i am...

Im about to be 24..

Been living in a body i dont feel comfortable with since i was a child.

Ive wanted to be the oposite gender.

Since at least 5years old.

Ive never told anyone, it gets harder every day. Trying to force yourself to be intrested in things you really arnt intrested in. Having to force your self to say certain things and act certain ways for people not to be suspicious of your personality.

But the truth is, ive kept my self a secret. I know what i wanted to be since i was little, but how do you go about being true to your self when you were given the wrong body?

When i was really young, people would tell my mother what a cute girl you have. But i wasnt a girl, and it would make me mad, because deep down i wished i was, i would wait for my mom to go to work so i could paint my nails and do make up.

My mother has always been against anytype of actions like that. She always told me, if i wanted a girl i would of had one.

But in the same breath she use to tell me she wishes i was a girl so we could go dress shopping. Deep down wishing i was too.

Been very very hard as time goes on to hold this in.

Ive never told anyone or even on aything like this.

I feel ashamed for feeling this way for so long.

I wish i wouldnt feel so dperessed about it.

I want to feel good mentally. But its hard.

Im a freak.