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Your comments have been disabled. Therefore, you do not want me to talk to you. I am sorry for going against your wishes. I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything. Everything you're going through. But. I cannot. I'm sorry, I cannot let this pass. I cannot let myself see this, then scroll by without saying something. Doing something. Something for you, even if nothing comes of it. I hear you. I hear your cry. Me, and every other person who's seen it. We hear you. Your words have been documented. If nothing else, we see what you've said. To me, it seems like a parting. If this bothers you, I am sincerely sorry. But I took note of this. Your post will not be lost in the flow of others. It will be here. What you have chosen to say.
But the reason I'm writing this, is not just to note that I have noticed. I don't want this to be the end of the story. I don't know if you read much. Do you? What about comics? Movies? TV shows? I'm sure that there have been some story-lines you've followed. You want an ending. An ending that satisfies you. Not every story has that ending. There are many that don't, and there is nothing you can do about it. But the point I am trying to make is that you don't WANT the story to end there. There may not be anything you can do about it. It may already be set in stone, but. But you don't want it to end there. The point of this, is maybe now you have an understanding of what I mean when I say I don't want this to be the end of the story. The end of your story. I understand I don't dictate your life. What you choose is your own story-line, not mine. But. But I WANT to. I desperately hope I can change your ending. I hope I can sway you, the author, to choose a different ending. To continue the story. Because I like this story. And I don't know what to do if it ends.
If it ended. if you ended. I don't know you. But.
You say the tension in your house would be eased if you leave. You also say there have been recent losses. They have impacted your outlook. I tell you. I declare this, as an absolute. That in NO way would life be better without you. I am certain, nothing can change my mind. And so the best I can do is try and change yours.
You said that right now you have no love in your heart. But. You say things will be better once you're gone? So, logically, we can conclude that you at least must care about your family. That you would even take into account what it would do to them. Because you say you've thought about it thoroughly. So you considered. And you care. You feel bad you no longer have empathy. But. If you still care about it. What I mean is, you cannot be entirely empty. If it bothers you that you don't care. If it bothers you, of course you care. I say, I have proven you wrong. You must have some love in your heart.
And because of this, I believe that this will help change your mind. This being, the knowledge that no one will be better off without you. It will hurt. Trust me, believe me, it will hurt when you're gone. Losses already stacked up, and then the loss of you. Something about your post stood out to me. The way you talked. Even in your despair, you somehow had so much light. Light that is now dimmed, true. But out of all the posts here, I saw so much light shining through yours. I swear to you, I am being sincere. I would not write all of this if I was being anything but. Losing you, can in no way help things around your house. Please understand that I mean exactly what I say. Taking your life will not benefit one single person.
To finish, I want to put it out there that, life changes. The only absolute is change. I promise. I swear to God, life changes. Just a couple of months ago, I was feeling as though the easiest option would be to just let go. That fighting through this just wasn't worth it. But. But now, I cannot imagine ever ending my own story. Before, when I saw things like "it will get better," I didn't believe it. I thought it was some stupid motivational message to try and convince me to keep an upper-chin. But. Now, somehow, things are better. It's actually better. And I believe that it can get better. It will actually get better. I'm not saying that in a couple of weeks you'll suddenly be feeling happy.
What I am saying is that, whatever you're going through now. Is not permanent. It WILL NOT last forever. I swear to you. This is not a one-way path.
Unless, you end the journey. And that is why I tell you to stay alive. Stay breathing. Do. Not. Ever. Stop. Simply. Breathing.
And remember that you are not alone. It may seem like no one can help. But having someone by your side can help to ease the burden on your shoulders.
I see your post as a declaration. I hear you. This is not a cry for help, I do not think, but a declaration. But. I cannot see this and scroll past.
I don't know if you'll see this. You may not look here again. I may be too late.
Please Lord, please let me not be too late.
Don't end your story.
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P.S. I love you
ReplyI wish i was them :€
ReplyPlease no, if you wish you were them then do something, don’t make them worse =-=
Although I do support brutal honesty
ReplyJust in case you didn't see my other post, but this the OP who wrote "x_x". Thanks for writing this. I hope you're doing all right. 🖤
Reply