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i dropped out of college (uk) 2 years ago so 17 now but do online studying recently, i live in a village w no transport or people who are around , the friends i had stopped replying inviting and over all interacting with me, i pretty much lost everyone. im constantly lonely. Im not close with my family , i dont leave the house and the more i stay inside the more im scared to leave , my comfort eating is constant hating body image . lack of education (trying to start studying again). any advice about what i should do with my situation would be brill
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When I was that age, I was in a similar state. Being in a small town can be difficult. I didn’t feel people liked me because of the way I looked. But, I tried to be helpful and extra kind to people. People seemed to appreciate this and were more open to talking to me and getting to know me as a person and not an image. I made more friends. This led to more confidence for me, me becoming more sociable and me working a little more on my appearance. Now, be careful because some people will take advantage of this kindness, so use it sparingly. Living in a small town, this is more difficult. I tried to have an open mind to who I was friends with. Finding a part-time job or volunteer work could lead to opportunities to be “extra nice” to some people. I made some good friends working my butt off at a local coffee shop. The extra money from a part-time job could help you with traveling to bigger towns and other countries and making friends there. I lived not too far to a bigger city, so I could join special interest groups there occasionally. If you don’t have access to a larger city, maybe taking things into your own hands and starting something in your town could be something you can do. I am open to trying new hobbies that get me out of the house. Also, do some traveling if you can. You’re in the UK, so all of Europe is a stones throw away. Also, I know you can’t choose your family, but maybe give them a second chance. I’m older now, so I have a better understanding of them now (and thicker skin) so I do have supportive relationships with my family now. Also, when you feel alone, don’t be so hard on yourself. There are many who feel the same way and it’s not a reflection of who you are as a person. You just need to find people who are more compatible with you. Also, there are many people with terrible jobs that take up all their time and energy. It’s the same with marriages with children they have to constantly take care of. Unfortunately, they don’t have much alone time. I know it’s hard, but try to see your alone time as personal time. Time you can use to reach who you want to be. Time to read. Time to meditate. Time to listen to new music. Time to try something new. Time to study something you are interested in. Time to burn off some energy. Time to travel. Dropping out of college is nothing new. I did it because I thought I was stupid, but I was really just bored with too much pent up energy. I’m not really smart, but hard work made up for a lot of things in my life, too. Please do not think of it as a failure, just something to learn from that makes you smarter and stronger. We all miss the mark sometimes. It’s what you do after that is important. At 17.....wow I wish I were 17 again....this is the perfect time to miss the mark. If you miss the mark now, people will just associate it with....being 17. The repercussions of missing the mark are less, not zero, but less. And, you get to learn so much from missing the mark. So, go after your interests and dreams now because if you have a family of your own, your responsibilities change. Maybe, you need some time for personal reflexion and growth before you start studying again. Maybe you can take a year off and find a part-time job so you can better understand yourself and your goals. There are so many who take more time to come into there own and eventually find their way. Don’t give up. You will be the same.
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