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I'm always thinking that people are inferior to me. That's why I try talking back to them so I feel better. When I was little, people ALWAYS said to me "When you say nothing, everybody is happy." Those words still affect me today even when I'm currently 21 years old and I don't even remember who said it. As of late, I've been getting really irritated at very small things such as waiting for someone to give me a piece of paper so I can do my homework. I would sometimes hit things if they don't do it immediately and even talk negatively about the situation I was in. Sometimes I get so mad that I have to say it out loud for everyone to hear. I'm just TIRED of being the person people want me to be. I'm do satisfying people by shutting the hell up. I will talk and I will say it. The little me that used to not talk AT ALL to people is gone. I want that side of my to be completely gone. I don't want to be quit anymore. I don't want to be known as a quit person anymore. Anything but that. I hate being quiet. I hate being quiet, I hate being quite to make other people happy. I want to talk to other people. I don't want to think or feel the same way I felt 12 years ago. I want that part of me to die. I don't want to have the same mindset I had 12 years ago. I don't want to be scared to talk to other people anymore. I hate that feeling. I hate that feeling. I hate that feeling. I'm tired of all the times I didn't speak up for myself. I'm tired of listening to the wrong people. I'm tired of accepting the negative things people say about me. I'm tired of what they think of me. I've been having this SAME mindset for the past 21 years of my life and I want to break away from it. This stupid mindset is driving me crazy. I want it to be gone from my life. I don't even want to even acknowledge it anymore. I don't want to think about it anymore. All I want is to do what I want to do without these thoughts disterbing my peace!
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