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Hello, you.
The radio silence I have left behind in my wake must have finally gotten to you.
Hi, I'm here.
In writing, no less, but you'd be a fool to think you would get some sort of reaction out of me in person.
Hello. I'm speaking.
In ways I never could loud because when the words come out they sound too harsh and they break too much and the feelings I try to feel are forever fleeing,
Hello. I'm breathing.
But only because society has told me I should, I should I should I should be grateful for the life they gave me,
Hello. I fell.
Too far down the hole and I've become it,
Black Hole.
Whispers.
The remnants of the beautiful worlds created by the sun it used to be,
The plants it used to feed, the air it used to heat, the days it used to warm.
Dying Star.
The slow deterioration of the sun as it swells and encases and destroys everything in it's way until
Supernova.
The explosion, the fire, the burning, the anguish, the knowing it will only survive for a short amount of time until eventually
Black Hole.
Never ending suction of light and life.
Searching,
Endlessly, for something to fill the empty hole in space that takes and takes and takes from living things because it cannot stand to not be filled, to not be lonely, to not feel.
No life.
No feeling.
Me.
And responsibilities.
Breathe, Eat, Sleep.
Do the dishes, dust, sweep.
All chores.
Laugh, smile, speak, repeat.
Sun, Dying Star, Supernova, Black Hole.
You might bleed when I'm gone.
Your heart will squeeze and your chest will freeze
And you might hear my laugh in the wind, the sound of my laugh when it actually meant something and had a beautiful music
Or you might smell my shampoo while you're out in public.
Or you'll see art that reminds you of me.
You'll hear music on the radio and it will never equate to the voice of the girl you used to know
But none of those things will really matter in the end because you'll know that to her none of these things really mattered in the end and even though she wanted you to, she was so broken even you didn't matter in the end.
She wanted you to.
But her chest had already begun to freeze a long time ago
And her heart ceased to squeeze
And when all was said and done
It took to much for her to breathe
So I hope you don't miss her too much when she's gone
Because I promise you, I won't miss me.
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Beautifully spoken to be honest. Thank you for writing this one.
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