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Dear Someone,
I got too attached to you. This dumb and lonely girl got too attached. Our first time meeting was online and we couldn’t seem to get along quickly. After a while, we were okay with talking. We had the best meaning less conversations that made my entire day 10 times better. I lied a lot about myself. Nothing too big, but just tiny details. I tried being completely honest but you seemed greater than I was. I didn’t want you to leave so I didn’t show my face. I still haven’t shown it. Everything has happened online which is hilarious. We’re the same age and have been through similar experiences. It’s been three years. Three years of knowing you. I told you everything. But now you’re not around. I’m too scared to message you because of my dumb texts. I don’t know how to tell you that I get nervous when we talk. I’m sure others can relate. Maybe they’re more confident. We had a tiny argument. Things didn’t end too well.
Before we stopped talking, I got sad that you had other new people to talk with but I knew that was dumb. I couldn’t get mad just because someone else talked to you. But I get jealous easily. I got too jealous. Now I feel obsessed but that’s not it. I’m just,, Sad. Sad that we don’t talk. I sometimes remember small conversations and feel like stabbing my chest because it hurts to think that we can never meet. We can, actually, but I wouldn’t want to. Do you see how confusing this is? I got too attached to a girl who I’ve seen many times in three years. We live close. Two hours away but I can’t drive to her. I’m too scared. She talked with a guy who got Jealous when I called her a sweet name. I didn’t care so he became my rival. Turns out they both live close to eachother. I stopped fighting. I started to cheer when you told me how sweet he was towards you. I told you how happy I was for you because I knew I couldn’t get in the way. I stopped being possessive and then I broke down. I’m keeping this to myself. Just posting it anonymously online. But she will never know! Wow. Isn’t that great? I’ll take it to the grave and maybe leave a hidden note somewhere around my isolated house for my grandchildren to find. They’ll say, "Grandma was gay?" And I’ll laugh from the gates of heaven or from the fire pits of hell. Whoever reads this is probably like "What the hell? This b*tch is insane." I mean, kind of, but I prefer "This b*tch is too afraid to confess" because I am.
I’m letting go right now. I think that’s the best thing to do. It has to be. Imagine having a complete stranger think of you, sigh sadly, and then write about feeling something towards you! Damn. I seriously hate how I am. This is getting too long. Alright, goodbye.
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