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I've been dating someone for almost 6 years... when we first started dating we both were clear that neither of us wanted to get married. We did believe in living together, getting committed to each other and we even said that if one of us changed of opinion about the whole marriage thing, that we would be honest about it and we would take separate ways, since we couldn't force the other to do something like that.
So... if you're still reading this, you probable think I changed my mind... and you are right... I was 17 when we started dating, I was immature, marriage was not an option for me, because I have seen crappy examples, but I can't blame the rest of the world for my decisions. However, I do see now marriage differently, I do want to commit to someone for the rest of my life. and be a team with my life partner.
I tried to talk to him about this, but every time I bring the subject, he gets all defensive and says that I already know how he feels about it. I seriously don't know what to do... Should I end our relationship? Or try to convince him to get married???? Please tell me what you guys think!!!
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You should cut the chase and tell your BF that you guys must go your separate ways. If after all this time, he hasn't change his mind enough to at least listen to you, he never was your partner and never will be, it will be just a boyfriend. And if you think about it, that's just a test drive for marriage. So basically he is telling you, he does not want to commit to you, which clearly is not what you are looking for. You both agreed on being honest and open about this. Getting defensive and shutting down the topic, just make it easier for him. Get on with your life my dear. You deserve better, and if he is not going to fill that post, some one else will. You better be available and ready so you can jump into that relationship when it comes your way.
My best to you.
ReplyDon't convince anyone to marry you. This should be a decision independently made to be together.
ReplyA part of me, know that I need to go my separate way. But after 6 years is so hard to just leave! Thank you so much for reading my post!!!
ReplyLook, I have been married for almost that long. We have our ups and downs but always listen to each other. I know it sounds insensible when I say bf/gf is the test drive for marriage but it is the truth. That is the whole idea behind two individuals committing to each other being married or just bf/gf. I truly hope you can find the strength to move on since it seems your bf is not willing to even listen to you and try to understand.
My best advise, talk you your close friends, perhaps you have a good relationship with a sibling. Talk to someone else that knows you and can understand you, I am sure you will find the strength, guidance, and reassurance you need. It is not easy, I know that much. But look at it this way, after 6 years he does not value what he has with you enough to consider being with you for the rest of his life? Then what are you two doing? Just having fun and a good time together? That's what strangers do on tinder, they have a fun and a good time.
Please reach out to your close loved ones. I hope you can find the support you need to get to a better place in your life. You are deserving of love and you are more than enough, I know you are.
ReplyThat's what I keep telling myself, if I keep in this relationship I am only going to waste my time because at the end, he doesn't want the same things I want. I truly appreciate your beautiful words!! I will be looking for support since I know this won't be easy! Thanks again
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