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So I have been on a business trip for over a week and during this trip I had to visit a telecom company for some paperwork. I was assigned to a girl who works at the front desk, who's married, and pregnant, but she's very cute.
This girl and I had a very obvious two way attraction and I could tell she really liked me as she could tell I really liked her, but even though that was the case, our interactions were kept strictly professional and never left the realm of work.
I am in a serious relationship so although I had this very clear strong attraction to this girl I was very serious about not acting upon it and so the only way I could get this situation off my mind and go on with my life was to tell my best friend about it. We are both men and we have talked about similar experiences before so I knew he would understand how I felt.
The problem is that his wife saw my texts and was very angry and started claiming that I was cheating on my girlfriend just because she saw that I was telling my friend how attractive and cute this girl is and how I am strongly attracted to her. And even though I stated that I will not cheat no matter how much I like her she still concluded that me thinking that and talking about it should be considered cheating.
I don't agree with her, but now I feel even more guilty about the whole situation and I feel like I am hiding it from my girlfriend and it's very scummy. I do agree that's it's scummy to talk about this girl so fondly with my friend but I really did nothing more than just talk and honestly the few interactions we had were brief and completely professional. The only thing that could be considered unprofessional was the way we were looking at each other and smiling, but I don't think we could help that.
Plus I am back in my city now so that wouldn't even have been worth it for me to ruin something so long term and so important to me just to have some fun for a few days and then never see this girl again. I really love my girlfriend and I see myself marrying her and I promised myself I would never cheat on her because she's a very loyal and wonderful girl, so now feeling this way is making me wonder if I am just an asshole and I didn't end up keeping my promise, or if I did the right thing by just telling my friend about it, keeping it in my feelings and not acting upon it until I am back home.
I would appreciate any feedback.
Thank you very much for your time.
D
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nah, the girl seduce u
Replyas a girl, i can tell you that knowing the man you love is attracted to someone else too is very hurtful. i do understand your position though. i feel like if you have to hide something, then its not worth the heartache. attraction can come and go but love stays forever (ew that was cheesy). the only advice i have is to say that no, you weren't cheating, but it is still hurtful. i know you cant help who you are attracted to, but if you can i would limit the amount of time you spend with the other women
ReplyThank you for your time and advice.
I have to clarify that I will probably not see this girl again. It was on a business trip in another country and she was helping me sort out some documents for my business.
I understand it's helpful to know the person you love is attracted to someone else. That's why I don't intend on telling her about it because I don't think it will do any good at all to just say something like that which will add nothing to our relationship.
ReplyYou didn't cheat physically and emotionally, which is good that you have self control. Hiding it from your partner is alittle unfair, as your long term girlfriend isn't unaware of the situation and how you felt. Attractions are normal, what's important is how you don't act upon those temptations and leave it be.
I admire your honesty and think it takes guts to speak to someone about it. In your case, it was wise to speak to your trusted friend about the matter and got hopeful, some good advice. However, I do question if you're truly happy within your relationship. If you and your partner have this strong bond where you can be open with each other. If you're with your partner for the right reasons, then these questions don't really apply to you. What you mostly felt with this girl at work is a sexual attraction and nothing more. It doesn't mean anything in general and it will be forgotten about.
Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it but if you can sleep at night with your girlfriend not knowing and you having no intentions of jeopardizing the relationship you have with here.
You're going to be okay and shouldn't over think it.
_-
ReplyThank you for taking the time to read my post and give advice.
I agree with you that we should be more open. This is something I have been working on with her, but she was raised closed off and it is taking time.
She is also very jealous so I can't really tell her knowing that it will hurt her feelings. Also I don't think it's necessary in this case considering it will really add nothing to the relationship.
In my opinion it was a short lived attraction to someone I basically didn't know. I kept it professional and didn't act upon it. Now I will probably not see that girl again.
ReplyApologies for some grammar errors, I tend to write quickly without checking lol...
Give her sometime to open up and she will eventually feel more comfortable to share more with you, as your relationship continues to grow and prosper.
It's great that you're working with her on this matter together and not forcing it upon her.
As for the Jealousy part, it's healthy to some degree to be alittle jealous and naturally most people are. My significant other (fiancé) is also the jealous type, alittle more than I am and I still love him for it in a cute way. You'll notice some people are more jealous than others, but what's important is that it's not taken to an extreme where it becomes possessive and toxic.
You're absolutely right, it's not necessary to bring it up to her attention, as it was very short lived the encounter that you had and not no depth. You were professional, remained faithful and loyal towards your partner. That's very much appreciated and admired, despite not getting validation and credit for it. Don't need to see that girl again and it's no really a bad thing, you're not missing out.
I have no doubt you love and deeply respect your girlfriend, as she does towards you.
You're doing alright dude ;)
_-
ReplyFeelings don't constitute cheating, actions do.
Reply