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Why do i push people away.
I don't mean to but i do it anyway.
Am i scared that they will find out how weak i am and leave me.
Maybe they wont maybe they will stay but out of pitty. I don't want that ,i don't want you feeling bad for me. If you start feeling bad for me i will feel even more pathetic so just stop please. I cant take it i want to let people in but i seem to struggle in doing so. I envy those how can open up to people easily. If only i could. I want to depend on others i really do but i cant. I will become dependent on them and if they leave what am i going to do. Will i feel betrayed again? Will i lose it? Will you stay with this damaged messed up me? The one that dosn't seem to ever complain. The one that feels the need to form a barrier around herself to be able to interact with others.
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