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I hate it. I hate it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I hate it. My friend harassed me, tried to control me, manipulate me and my friends, and I miss her. I miss her alot. And it hurts, but she tried to make everyone hate me. She was just so childish going through everything, and it stressed me out. Then, my partner. I'm losing interest in my partner, and I don't know how to stop. I hate him, but I love him. I hate everything about him. We barely even talk, and all he does it say gay jokes. But he also makes me feel like the best person. But also makes me feel unloved. And Thats my fault, for the most part. And I have a crush on someone else, which has lasted through t h r e e of my relationships. It's ruined everything. And then my parental guardian and my older sister are always fighting. Then there's school. And I'm so tired of all of this. This is really taking a mental toll on me, and I just want to give up on everything. I can't take this anymore. Everyone leans on me for support, and I never get any support back. Well, no, I do, but only when my so called friend tried to convince everyone to hate me. My life's a mess, and I shouldn't have been born. I feel like I've hit the point where my life is just gonna get worse and worse, but atleast one thing is going good. Everything else is taking a toll on me. I want it all to stop. I want to be able to be happy for once this month. This hurts, so much. I want to just end all this pain, but I can't. If I can't live for someone else, then I'll live for me. But god did I wish someone else wanted me to be alive. I wish my boyfriend cared more about me, I wish I didn't have toxic friends. I wish I wasn't poor, I wish my parents would stop fighting. I wish the nightmares would stop. I wish I was never born. But, this is my life. And this is all my fault.
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