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First time i've ever been on this so give me some slack.
I'll try keep this as short as possible as there is a fair amount to go over..
Just over 2.5 years ago was when i got together with my current partner.
We have known each other for years and so has our families (My brother was her dads boss) and when we got together, everything was completely fine. Her parents welcomed me with open arms and we really got along well. I lived in my own house (rented from a family member) and she used to come round, stay over for a night and then go back to her parents house. Simple as any relationship. But around 12 months on, i had to give the house back to the family member and her parents knew she was wanting to look for somewhere with me, so they offered to give us part of their house (pretty big house) for free. At the time i didnt really want to do it because i have heard from friends and witnessed it with family that it doesnt work. Anyway, safe to say i felt like i was pushed into doing it.
When i moved in everything was fine and no problems or rules etc but after about 2 months, that all changed.
Me & her mum had a brilliant relationship and we got on so well up until that 2 month mark.
Now, we are like worst enemies.
She judged everything i done, everything i said and completely went against all the conditions of me moving in there. It got to a point where i would do anything to get out of the house including waking up at 6am (so that i would be out the house before she wakes up) and then id just go to my business premises until 10pm so i could just go back, sleep and repeat. I'd even avoid having food near them cause it was that awkward.
This all started because one day me and my partner seen a HUGE house that belongs to a footballer and said in passing "omg that's our dream house, if we win the lottery then we're getting that". Straight away within a matter of seconds, her mum fumed and decided to start charging us rent, checking on our side of the house and making life hell. I understand that she must have thought "oh my daughter is thinking of moving out", but just because of that one comment, she made it hell.
She was VERY sneaky as well because whenever it would just be her mum and me in the house, she'd say snotty comments and be horrible to me. I felt like i could never say anything back because id have just let rip and the last thing you can really do it get angry towards your partners mum. I did tell my partner about it all but her mum denied it and acted all goody good. I had said to my partner that i'm moving out and if i was to stay it will just get worse but she basically begged me to stay and all i wanted to do is make her happy. So safe to say i stayed.
However, a few months on (about 9 months after it started) my partner finally seen what she was being like with me and then we both went for a long walk and a good talk (me and my partner). After that she finally understood and was understanding about me wanting to move out but she also wanted to come with me. So we got absolutely everything in place for us to be ready to move out because we knew her dad would try and say "you need this, that, etc" and i wanted to be prepared with an answer to everything. So when we told them, her dad had nothing to say because id ticked all the boxes off on what he was going to try make an argument over, but her mum just taken off like a big spoilt brat!
Anyway, that was about 9 months ago now and we've been living on our own for 5 months. Mine and my partners relationship has become alot less stressful but i just feel like i've been completely pushed out of the family. Yes her mum and dad are civil to me etc but it's one of them situations where you know her mum just wants me to die. No one even bothers to reply to me whenever i put a message on the family group. I just get blanked my everyone (her siblings included)
I came on this because all day i've felt really down/depressed and didnt know why. I was hoping that ranting would make me realise what is making me feel like this but i feel like it hasnt. Okay it's obv that it's over her mum but i feel as if there is something i need to realise or do. I don't know if i'm maybe thinking she is going distant because she's constantly kissing her mums arse? I don't feel like she wants to spend time with me anymore? Her messages are alot more deeper to her mum than me? She goes out her way to do anything for her parents but if i ask her to pick me up, she'll moan and make me feel bad? Do i need to break this off?
Any advice is much appreciated in advance!
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Maybe let her know how you truly gel express to her how you feel left out , and not every family really gets close to there kids partner but you and you partner are supposed to be a team and she has to make sure that when you are with her side of the family you feel that , after expressing how you feel give it a few weeks and see if there are any changes in her behavior, most families have a domino effect if she’s your true partner they will follow her lead and be warmer. Hope this advice help stay strong
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