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When will this get better? Will it ever? Am I stuck like this?
How do I break this cycle that I find myself in over and over?
I find myself saying, Bell you’re not depressed, you’re just overly emotional. Bell you just want attention. Bell you aren’t allowed to feel this way, you have too many good things going on in your life to be depressed. You do not have depression. Just because you feel sad for a couple days every two weeks doesn't mean anything. Bell you rely on others to make you happy. Bell its your fault you feel so sad, you dont do anything to fix it. Its your fault you dont have friends.
Nobody understands the pain I'm in. I'm eighteens years old with arthritis and lupus, but nobody can physically see it. I dont have broken bones, I dont have cancer. So I'm not taken seriously when I dont feel well.
I think about killing myself some times but I'm always too scared to do it. To be honest I dont think I'll ever do it. But I'm scared that I even have those thoughts. I dont like that I think about it. My thoughts immediately go to the future and all of the things I would miss. All of the things I want to experience but I feel like they’re so far away from now.
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Just wait until you feel okay and go out. Maybe if you chat to strangers you will make a friend, but be careful. Or try social media. You might meet someone who lives in your area you can be friends with. Don't give up. Also don't complain about your ailments to people. Mention them once, that's enough.
ReplyI really don't complain about my ailments to people... But if I'm noticeably in pain, people don't take me seriously. because my pain Isn't visible. Thats what I meant.
But thank you for your advice
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