What are you looking for?
2 years ago · · Love,
I felt like I was in control for the past ten months. Like I was in charge and able to maintain my life and move on from what you did. Cheating on me with my best friend's fiance'. So unexpected. So hurtful. You know i always have delayed reactions to things. It's hitting me now. This time of year. Maybe it was the nostalgia of the holidays. I did spend the last four with you, after all. Maybe it was the loneliness I felt, feel, at night. I miss having a body next to me. A shared bed. Comfort of your breathing. I don't love you anymore. But I miss the feeling of those moments. I hope someone else will come along and love me the right way. Treat me the right way. Not ignore me for games, or the gym, or for excessively long naps. God I want to know what it feels like for someone to actually be in love with me. I don't think you ever truly were. I was. I fought so hard for us, and you threw it away like it was nothing. But one day someone will come along and realize that I'm worth it. And I will adore them for the rest of our lives. I can't wait.