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I just want to cry. I feel like I'm failing or stumbling at life. I feel like I'm trying to ride a bike and I keep falling. It's my fault too. I procrastinate most of the time but I feel like it's because I try to avoid the problem rather than facing it head on. I don't want to tell anyone, but sometimes I just feel like a snowflake; someone who melts under pressure. I'm also a hypocrite. I act all tough and calm, like I have it together, but I don't. I don't show up in appointments sometimes, I experience action paralysis when I'm anxious and unprepared. Now, I feel lost. As if everything I wanted to achieve has gone by and I'll never achieve them now because I lost my chance and it's all my fault.
I'm disappointing everyone. Me, my parents, and the friends who believed in me. I disappointed my 16-year-old self who wanted to be great and achieve great things. I didn't achieve any of them for her. I did not follow-through with any of my plans. I feel lost and useless.
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You know what is wrong with you so fix this. Do the opposite to what you have been doing so that you shape up. As you age you will become more responsible towards yourself and others.
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