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Recently my emotions have been getting the best of me. Many say I feel as if im swept away by a wave of blue and gray, sadness. I feel sadder the older i get. I started at 13 just being a little moody but now im 15 turning 16 in a few days. Yet i feel as if its getting worse. I bottle up my emotions. I don't like people being upset or feel sad for me because of my mood. I put myself out there for everyone before myself. My self love is starting to leave. I'm realizing my best friend is so much prettier than me and at points she makes me jealous. I feel as if she take the spotlight. I don't have confidence. Its okay though. It's been like this for a while and it doesn't seem to get any better. I don't have to urge to kill myself or harm myself, i just feel like crying. I can't though cause it will worry others. People depend on me to help them feel better and even bring a smile to their face. When i really am in pain and i try to talk no one talks me serious. At some points i begin to pity myself. I don't want to involve my parents because they believe im just being dramatic.
All i want is an actually person to talk to me and relate to me. Understand how i feel and make me feel better. Shower me in compliments, even if i don't deserve them.
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Dear writer,
I understand that it's hard, that it doesn't feel like your feelings are ever going to go away, but know that everything happens in its own time. You are truly amazing, strong, and brave enough for whatever comes your way. Don't compare yourself to anyone, love and see yourself the way you deserve to be loved and seen. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, you deserve to be happy too. You're not dramatic, and you should never pity yourself for feeling these things, because we all feel different things and deal with them in our own ways. Know that you deserve all the good things the World has to offer and nothing less. You are beautiful on the inside and the outside (and don't you dare let your own thoughts tell you different). At the end of the day, know that you are enough, heck you're more than enough! It's okay to cry and feel sad every here and then, but don't stay there for long. Continue to be the light the World knows you to be, but remember that you need that light as well~ I hope you feel better hun :)
ReplyYou is kind
You is smart
You is important
I know you have the strength to get through this. That friend who you say is prettier than you...talk to her. Confide in her. If she (or he) is truly your friend she (or he) will make you feel better and be there for you to give you a hug when you need it. If you can't talk to your parents, talk to a counselor or teacher but make yourself heard. You deserve to be heard and you are not a burden.
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