Secrets

Well fúck. My parents have kept a lot of shít from me over the years. I have to keep it all secret but you guys don't know who I am so it's fine..right?

Firstly, I have an older, secret half brother from my mom's side. I already have two siblings so you'd think it wouldn't be any different, right? Wrong...as...shít. He's completely fúcking different. He's been through a lot of shít but is still really sweet.

Secondly, my father isn't who I thought he was. (He's totally changed for the better now so don't go pulling the pity card) He used to be involved in gangs, and he used to hit my mom and older sister. I guess one day he hit my mom and stormed out and she ran after him crying, pregnant, and done with his shít. She tripped and fell and hurt the baby inside of her. My dad came and carried her off to the hospital. The baby was fine but a few days, weeks, or something like that, later he threw something at her and it hit her in the stomach and killed the baby.

My parents don't know I know about that and it's been making my life fúcking shitty. I can't talk to anyone about it and I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

On top of that, I had just got out of the hospital because of my fúcking suicide attempt, but had been off my meds because I thought I was getting better. I'm just a fúcking teenage girl. I don't know what to do with this shít. I want to punch someone or something but I'm not allowed to fight or my parents will send me back into that fúcking hellhole. My friends are fúcking immature and won't hold a serious conversation and when I don't say something, they say I'm introverted and weird. I have all this shít in my head that I can't get out and I don't know what to do.