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I don’t know what I’m feeling. It’s like I’m dead inside, and I’m just a rotting body with no soul. I’m 13, and I can’t remember the last time I smiled without him. He lives 1000 miles away, and nobody talks to me anymore. I don’t feel like living. I don’t want to eat. I can’t breathe. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to live. But I’m forcing myself to do it. I’m scared that I’m going to fall asleep one day and not wake up to tell my mom that I love her. I haven’t slept for 3 days. I sleep in the day because I feel safer. I ate today though. I feel like I’m hungry 24/7 but when I eat, I can’t swallow it. It’s getting even harder to breathe. I feel like I’m not loved. My brain hasn’t fully developed and I don’t know what to do in my situation. I’m not suicidal, or atleast I don’t think I am. Help me. Please.
Much love,
A rando who just wants to feel happiness.
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Reading this, I feel you. I wish I could speak in person so that you could see how genuine I am when I say that. I don't really know what else to say. I just know that you sound like a beautiful human being who deserves all of the love and support you can get. May the wealth of wellness and good feelings be absolutely limitless in your life.
ReplyI was like you as a child. I would chew the food and couldn't swallow because of living with the horrible nasty mother I had. I had no appetite and at the back of my mind I didn't want to live. But when I stayed with my aunt she told me stories at meal times and I ate alright. Also she lived near a beach and going there and swimming gave me a bit of an appetite. Then it happened again when I was grown and in a horrible marriage. You are hungry but not able to swallow which seems to mean you are starving yourself to get out of the situation you are in. You must talk to your parents about this before you lose too much weight. If you can't talk to them and aren't at school to talk to the councilor there contact churches in your area where someone should help you. Some churches have a councilor you can see for free. There are also help lines you can call. Don't forget to say you are scared to sleep at night because you are afraid you won't wake up. This sometimes happens to people when someone close to them has died. Wishing you all the best.
Replyhey there make your mother your reason to live ...your reason to smile....do things that make you happy....enjoy nature..listen to music...you are loved my dear.....stay positive please
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