I feel so worthless.

since quarantine started, I've become less happier, sure, no school may sound sweet at first, but, self isolation from your friends can really damage you.

My parents aren't the happiest couple either, if i'm not doing well, they'll threat-motivate me by saying "you fail, we're moving." and I already put myself under pressure, avoiding things that make me happier and try to set up an illusion that im better because im 'eating healthier' and Im 'doing more physical activities' but in reality, I spend most of the day sleeping. Because I like to avoid everything. i avoid things i enjoy, I avoid things I don't particularly like but still have to do, I'm going to bed at 1-3 am, I cry a lot more (and my parents tell me to 'stop crying' like that'll help.) and Im having more and more fantasies about me going to sleep and never waking up again. I'm at the point where I yearn for me to die in my sleep. I haven't told my parents because they'll say "your just lazy" "you want to go to a insane asylum" and "just shut up and do your work" I don't want to fail and I'm scared about confronting my suicidal thoughts.