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I’m in love with a beautiful man despite the many reasons I shouldn’t be. He fills my heart with joy, love and agony. My eyes with twinkles, light and tears. My mouth with words of love and ecstasy and a bittersweet taste. The adventure in his soul sends adrenaline rushing through my blood. The sweetness of his words tangle me in a warmth I wish I could escape. His skin so gentle and his voice so calm. My love so strong yet our relationship so difficult. Our journey is coming to an end. Our road is dry and new life is unable to grow. It would be wrong to take a turn and choose a new road with him after the years that we’ve been conditioned to follow this path. But regret would fill my life if I allowed my knees to be grazed every time I took a step without him. I can’t tell him I love him. I wish I could care for him and love him through every minute we’re alive and further. I want to hold his hand through pain, support him through sadness and stand with him through happiness. But I can’t. The love I have for him is building up inside me with nowhere to go. I picture his perfect face every day. The way his mole rests below his lips. The way his eyebrows angle towards his eyes. The way he holds eye contact as he speaks. There isn’t a day I don’t think about him. There never will be a day I don’t think about him. My mind and heart will never come to rest knowing that he never knew about the emotions I was falling through for years. But I can’t ruin him. I can’t ruin his reputation. I can’t ruin his life.
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