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so there is this boy, its been 3 years since we know each other and I've been in love with him since the day I met him. we've also been in a friend with benefits for one and a half year. 5 months back we stopped it as he got into a relationship with some other girl, but we've always been friends. yesterday he gave me an offer to come back in the fwb with him, and he told me that it would be a secret, that he would cheat on his girlfriend. I refused his offer for moral reasons. but the thing is i really love this man, despite knowing all his faults, I give him the right advice, and we have a very special and powerful bond, we find our way back to each other no matter how much we fight. i am not the kind of person to do such a thing, to come between two people. but all the things he said to me are not leaving me alone, he has given me a lot to think about, i don't know what he wants?!
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Well its really hard to see whats good for you when you're blinded by love. It might not seem like it but the truth that love can hurt us without being noticed. I truly think that you should give it time. Reflect on whats best for you in the long run. You should want someone that wants to be with you out in the open and treat you right. But at the end of the day who will make the decision is you.
ReplyA few things. Firstly I think that you NEED to tell this guys girlfriend about the offer that he made to you. Nobody deserves to be cheated on, and this guy has pretty much done that to this girl. She doesn’t deserve that to happen to her, and she definitely deserves to know. Secondly I hate to admit it, but considering that this guy was happy to cheat on his current girlfriend, do you not think that he would do the same to you if you two were to ever get together? This guy doesn’t seem like a great one, and I don’t think that he cares about anyone, other than himself. Please do the right thing, and be careful whatever you end up doing with him
ReplyI've been in a very similar situation. The ONLY thing close to "love" I had felt in 10 years was from this guy. You use the word "connected", so did he when he talked about us. He began dating somebody as well... and eventually attempted the same thing with me, on several occasions... I was selfish and weak and so lonely... finally... I didn't stop him. But being with him was different this time. After, it reality hit me. If he is so connected to me, why in the world was I just FWB, but she is somebody he wants to "date". It hit me that the simple fact that he was even comfortable making these advances while he was in a relationship showed that he was confident I would allow it. I have NEVER been that person, and all of a sudden I was. I HATED myself after. I am still trying to forgive myself and him for cheating on her.
If he cares about you as much as he says he shouldn't put you in that situation. Think of what would happen if she found out, do you think he'd support and comfort you or would he be begging her to forgive him. Set your boundary and stick to it, you're being a much better friend supporting his commitment to his gf. And maybe see how he reacts if you say no.
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