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I don’t know how to deal with the fact that my sister is gay. Even typing this hurts so much and it kills me that it does. I can’t tell if I'm pretending that I don't know for sure, even though I saw enough to prove it… I'm torn between the two extreme reactions - most normal people saying this isn’t a big deal and to be loving & accepting no matter what. And my Christian community that will say homosexuality is a sin and that she won’t come to believe Jesus. It breaks me that I am so distraught by this because I love her so much. I love her more than anyone so this should not matter. And it absolutely breaks my heart to think how this is going to affect my conservative family - the one thing I treasured so much as happy & perfect. I don’t know if my mom and dad will ever accept it. I don’t know what our dynamic will look like as this comes to light. I don't know how this is going to impact all of our futures. And I have absolutely no one to talk this with because it's her private life and I would never force her to come out. I'm a horrible person for secretly inside wishing she just didn’t. Or wishing this was all untrue and I am somehow mistaken. This is something I have absolutely no control over and it really is breaking me apart inside. But I imagine if it's this hard for me to hide it, it's so much worse for her. I can't even fathom. I have never felt more selfish for being so sad...
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Who cares who is what. It isn't anyone's business.
When did it become a matter of sexual preference that defines you or who you are?
That isn't my job to judge.
However I do believe it is pushed by the wrong people these days...to be on board with something that really isn't You or who you are.
Everyone is doing it so it must be ok right?
No....go by who you know you are....and by your value.
ReplyYou're not a bad person, you just discovered something that changed your life. You always thought of your sister as straight, and now you learn she's not, of course, you're going to be overwhelmed. And that's okay. If you were a bad person, you'd only be thinking about how it would affect you or your family, but you're thinking about her, too. Trust me, you are not a bad person. My advice is that you should take a moment, forget about your family, forget about religion, and just ask yourself if you're okay with her being gay. If you are, then maybe consider talking to her about it, saying that you accept her, and support her. I understand that religion and homosexuality is a difficult thing, to say the least. But it doesn't have to be one or the other. If you're genuinely concerned about your sister going to hell for this, maybe talk to a priest and ask a couple questions about it. I hope this helps, at least a little bit. Just don't feel bad for not wanting anything to change in your family, that's perfectly normal, and nobody can blame you for that.
ReplyYou're not a bad person, you just discovered something that changed your life. You always thought of your sister as straight, and now you learn she's not, of course, you're going to be overwhelmed. And that's okay. If you were a bad person, you'd only be thinking about how it would affect you or your family, but you're thinking about her, too. Trust me, you are not a bad person. My advice is that you should take a moment, forget about your family, forget about religion, and just ask yourself if you're okay with her being gay. If you are, then maybe consider talking to her about it, saying that you accept her, and support her. I understand that religion and homosexuality is a difficult thing, to say the least. But it doesn't have to be one or the other. If you're genuinely concerned about your sister going to hell for this, maybe talk to a priest and ask a couple questions about it. I hope this helps, at least a little bit. Just don't feel bad for not wanting anything to change in your family, that's perfectly normal, and nobody can blame you for that.
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