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Something I've struggled with ever since high-school was my own self confidence. At 15 I developed social anxiety and depression. I never really got any better either. Here I am 22. No job, no friends. It just feels defeating. I've been alone for a long time now. So long I just feel stuck. I feel comfortable when I'm alone. The second someone else comes into the picture, it doesn't feel right. All I want is to connect with someone who gets me, who understands me for who I am. I just fear it won't happen, cause I never make any efforts to talk to people. I guess I fear rejection. Or I just assume I'll get rejected. Anyway I've been going to this restaurant for a few years and there is this beautiful waitress. She knows my order by heart. I would love to ask her out, but I have no idea how to go about without seeming weird. I'm not the best looking guy in the world. However I'm in decent shape. I wouldn't consider myself ugly. I just lack confidence. I feel hopeless. This quarantine has been no different for me cause my usual day consists of sitting in my house doing nothing. I got an associate's degree and just stopped going to college last fall. I don't want to get a bachelor's cause of the debt I'll be In, But what good job can I even get with an associate's degree? Back to that waitress though. Damn she is beautiful. For all I know she could have a boyfriend, but I guess I have nothing to lose. Maybe I will say something next time I see her. Or maybe I'll let my anxiety get the best of me like usual. I just want to break free and release myself from the prison I keep myself in. I worry too much about everything.
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Would you say that you don't feel confident in social situations due to the way others may react?
I understand how you feel with regards to being isolated, not really interacting with people socially on a daily basis. This may be why it feels uncomfortable when you are in a social setting, because out of habit you are used to being alone.
I think no matter what you do it will feel uncomfortable at first, and fear of what others make think or say might seem overwhelming.
To a degree, almost everyone fears what people think or may say about them. It's just a case of not allowing the fear to consume you, don't let it prevent you from showing who you are.
I would start small, make a point to go out to a social setting (shop, diner etc) everyday. If you pass someone on your travels, make eye contact and give them a simple "Hello" or "Good morning". As you see the girl in the diner often, maybe make a point to ask her "how is your day going". If you get used to those smaller interactions it will get easier, and the fear & anxiety will start to fade.
In regard to your job, what interests you? what can you do with relative ease?
I can tell you that not having a degree is not the end of the world, and as you so rightly mention, degrees attract debt.
I made the decision at 16 that a degree was not something that interested me; I saw that education was just teaching me to remember things as opposed to actually developing skills that are useful in the real world.
I had no idea what job I wanted, but I looked at what I was interested in and that I could develop and become good at. So at 19, with no degree, no experience; I turned up to the interview and told them all about my interests and what I did to get better. Initially they wanted a degree & experience, but I was able to communicate my passion to them just by telling them about what I was doing to get better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that education is not always the deciding factor, passion and ability to develop are far more relevant and useful.
I hope some of this helps and gives you some hope that you can remove the fear and anxiety.
ReplyYou should have a hobby or even hobbies so that you don't spend so much time inside your head.
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