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I don't even know where to start. Actually I do but that's the mistake I'm making twice.
Two days ago, the results of the most awaited college admission test has dropped like a bomb that no one would be safe to flee from.
After forcing myself to sleep and insisted on checking it the following day instead, due to the crashing of the site--probably because of the number of applicants rushing to know the verdict of their future. Myself included.
The next morning swallowed every dream and confirmed my doubts.
I was not accepted. Though I expected tears to spring my eyes, I sat there. Not surprised at all.
But it hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt more when I opened my messages to see almost everyone from my previous class got in. The ones I used to help with their homework. The same ones who asked me for essay drafts. The same one who cheated in our quarterly exams.
They all passed with something to brag about and I told myself maybe they deserved it somehow? Did they deserve to get it when they cheated their way to endless exams from when we were still in the same class? I guess it didn't matter. They weren't able to cheat on the day of the admission test anyway. Maybe they really came prepared.
I just lacked everything. I let myself go in my last year of high school. Out of all the chances I could of cared less---it had to be in my last year where my life half depends.
Because when I look back on the days I should of tried harder, studied better and gave more; I realized that while I'm forcing to stay awake at 2 am my other peers are sleeping soundly because all they need to do is cheat to pass.
So why should I try? I eventually gave up my efforts to make year 12 become the most memorable academic year of my education.
But in the end, it only backfired.
At me. Alone.
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Still doesnt mean you cant go to college. Those other people cant cheat their way through college either. Dont let that shatter your dreams. You can try to better your life from this point forward.
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