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this was a couple of days ago when i started noticing my father’s behaviour had become out of the norm. he used to dote on me and ask me how my day was going, and would always give me a positive advice and no matter how much i treated him like crap- he was always there to support me. maybe it’s partially my fault for being such a bratty child with anger issues and pushing him too far over or the fact that I’ve done something horrible towards him that I didn’t notice possibly multiple times. i get it, i’m a terrible daughter. it was on a wednesday when my grandma decided to take our entire family for a trip to a nearby river for a picnic. my father had just recently recovered from a fever and he was the one in charge of driving the family there. i guess you could say he was tired, i mean, how could he not? he’s been working so hard to support the family and i understand how restless he must’ve felt. during the drive, my father decided to turn on the radio, and he switched it to one of those radio stations that played old jazz music. he then asked me what the frequency was for his favourite radio station, the one that plays 2010s pop songs and I immediately took out my phone and googled it. after googling, i changed the radio station to the pop one and he didn’t seem to care. but then, he started cussing at me ‘what the f*ck is wrong with you!’ and he yelled ‘i was listening to that!’ i tried to explain how it was all a misunderstanding and that i thought he wanted me to change it to his regular radio station because he asked me what the frequency was. he refused to listen and called me an ‘idiot daughter’ and ‘a rude ass’. i of course, was still very shocked and tried again to explain the situation but he just shut me down. it’s been a couple days now and I’ve tried apologising to him but whenever i bring it up he just tells me to ‘shut your goddamn mouth’
we haven’t spoken at all since then and it’s been taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve become more anxious around my family members and have since preferred to stay at home instead of following my family to trips and outings. I’ve also been having thoughts about emancipation and possibly moving in with my aunt since the situation at home with my father has become much worse. i just want things to go back to the way it was. I don’t really know who’s in the wrong and i get it if some agree that it was me who started it all. i kinda just think of my father as a jerk asshole who swears at his children and doesn’t love me anymore.
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Is all of this just over that one incident? If so you have really got carried away. You don't need to question if your dad loves you or think about living with an aunt. Put this behind you and get on with things child.
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