Now

I feel like now is a good time to let go of stuff rather than holding back all the emotions. I'm 21 but sometimes I still feel like I'm a child. I came from a kind of religious background and we prioritize our parents very much. Getting angry at them was saying that we are disrespecting them. So one day my brother did just that like me and my siblings have done multiple times because we are people and we express feelings constantly when we feel our parents are not hearing us. But this time it was the worst. It came from the simplest reason but everything escalates so quickly, the situation just got really bad. Then everyone was fighting. My brother has this anger problem where he sometimes snaps even though he's a really good person but when he's angry, he's like a different person. At the time, he yelled at my mother because my mother talked about the reason he was late is that he was always prioritizing his girlfriend or taking too long because he was talking to his girlfriend. That snapped him and he yelled bloody murder to my mother. He kicked things and keep on yelling. I was so surprised by this situation, I kept quiet. He then said that he can't take it anymore and then proceed to get into his car and drive away into the night. At that moment, even I thought that he has gone so far because he yelled at my mother and he had no right for that no matter how angry he is because he is still his mother. During the fight, my dad did get involved but he only speaks in a lower tone saying to my brother who's yelling, saying to see who's he talking to but in my mother's opinion, he was not defending her at all when my brother was yelling at her. At the end of the day, she was mad at my dad and my brother. Later that night, my brother came back and go apologies to my mother for his behavior but my mother was hurt by him and both of them said hurtful things to each other. Now, it has been 3 days but no one is talking with each other. I am now the middle man of things because no one else is talking with each other. When I said to my brother to apologize, again and again, he won't want to listen and said he did everything that he could to apologize but my mother won't accept it. I don't know what to do in this situation but just feel suffocate of this situation. Everyone's ego is taking over themselves and I just want to get out of here because the tension in this house is so thick, I can't breath when I'm not in my room. I was kind of suicidal in my older days and I felt it again today. I just want to end it now so please help me solve this problem. I'm so sad but I don't want to tell anyone I know because that would just expose my family like that and I would feel bad about it. Please help me...