It's just... Things

My head doesn’t behave

I feel not that great

I feel repulsive and disgusting

Like I have a bunch of eyes-

Looking directly at me

Judging… every move

No, I don’t know those eyes

And they aren’t even here

Wtf is up with me?

Can I live peacefully?

It’s stupid

Silly

GOD, please kill me

This is so irritating

It’s SO frustrating

It’s not even funny

Things that I regret

My normal human needs

Self-doubt

Self-loathing

My depression and anxieties

Do I control my head or my head controls me?

Do I need help or am I just being silly?

The dysphoria is horrible

The hate is overwhelming

I feel that I have no chill

Not even freedom

All of this guilt

And wishes

Of being free

Of this state of mind

AND THIS FREACKING SLEAZY BODY

OMG living with myself

Could be less of a hell

The search for perfection

Kinda sucks :p

I feel like I need approval in everything in my life

Studies

Thoughts

Actions

Words

UGH what a waste

And it doesn’t even matter wtf u say

My head will always treat me like a waste

But I need to make myself proud

Because I always been my own mom

I

Can’t

Fail

Writing this… thing, makes me feel kinda well

BUT

I don’t know what happened that everything just fell

Everything I do to get better

Just do more damage than it should

Help

You’re just trying to get attention

I can’t

You’re victimizing yourself

Breathe

You don’t need help

…

Nobody should believe me

That’s what it said

I just want to have a piece

Why does it need to be so difficult?

Why can't I be normal?

Help

The tears

Are coming

Nobody hears it

Nobody should

I cant

Living with myself

Could be less of a hell