My Unsent Letter

My Dear Jelly Bean,

Each passing day spent without you chips away at my soul. I know you aren't even thinking about me. By the off chance that you are, you're probably thinking about the dark side that you failed to acknowledge until the very end. You told me that "love is blinding" and that "you don't see a future with me". Maybe it was the way I would yell at you during arguments or the way that my fear of losing you ultimately lead to that which I was trying to prevent. I never told you this but during our one-year anniversary, while you were abroad doing whatever you were doing, I wrote a letter to you. I wrote about how I didn't deserve you. I wrote about how I come from nothing. I wrote about how I was lucky to even meet you. I wrote about how we are complete opposites that come from completely different worlds. I wrote about how I wasn't good enough for you. I wrote about how I didn't fit into your perfect high-class life but I still wanted to try. I wrote about how condescending you or your friends could be towards me. I wrote about how I love you completely as you are, imperfections and all. But then I spent some time thinking about just why things are the way they are. How even though I tried so hard and got so far it didn't even matter. Regardless, it was ultimately your choice as an individual whether or not you wanted to be with me. I didn't meet your standards and I understand. Thank you for making my dream of living in DC come true. I hope all of your dreams come true and I hope you find the person you deserve. When I look back at the times I had with you, there isn't a memory

that doesn't make me weep

I will always love you,

A