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I suppose I could use a little bit of help.
For a little over two years now, I've had a hard crush for a good friend of mine. She's everything I could ask for in a girl, and her and I just seem to click. She's in a three + year relationship, and so I've obviously never told her about my feelings. We'll call her M. Her and I always hangout together with the same group of friends, and always have a good time.
Over the last week or two, things have become a little more interesting between another friend of ours and myself. She's pretty, intelligent, funny, fearless, and it seems that her and I have discovered a lot more in common between us. I'll refer to her as H. A third party between us thinks that H and I should be something, and that we would make each other happy.
I don't deny that I might have some feelings for H, but I'm afraid they're not anywhere near the magnitude of the ones I have for M. But at the same point, how long do I wait for a shot with M? She hasn't been single for over 3 years, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Even if she were to become single, I don't know that M would see me the same way I see her.
Or maybe, I can't commit to either of them. After all, they are both best friends of mine, and a failed attempt my jeopardize the strength between our friendship.
What would you do in my shoes? Continue to wait for M, the subject of an over two year long crush of mine? Or try something new with H, the kind of girl that gets along with everybody. Or perhaps nothing at all, and bide my time waiting for someone else to come along.
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I am in no position to help, citing that i myself may have a crush on my best friend, but i know that i would want to try something out with someone if i saw scope, especially if my best friend were dating someone, and is happy in that relationship. I say do what you think is best for you. May be shit advice, but since your friend is with someone else, you deserve to be happy with someone too, so maybe go for it with H?
ReplyHmmmmmmmm I don't wanna say this but H seems only to be a rebound isn't she? Though I want you to try things with H but pls make sure your feelings for HER are genuine and romantic not just camaraderie. There are cases you only like the feeling not the person romantically.
ReplyI think u shd try with H. Reasons, 1. there is no point in waiting for M. She is already in a long relationship and loyal, even if she gets single she will come to u only to fill the gap emotionally. Probably she won't be there as ur partner bcs of who u r.
2. M has been ur crush for over 2 yrs and recently only u have started having feelings for H. I think ur feeling for H is genuine and u like her bcs of who she is, not bcs u r desperate to have someone in ur life. You must put in efforts now bcs u can only make a relationship work by ur efforts, not by imagination only. Don't wait for someone else as u might lose H also and it is better to try than to repent later : ) Love from India.
Reply>A third party between us thinks that H and I should be something
You don't change a relationship because of how others think, you change it because you want it.
You will tell M or H only if you feel strong enough to take the consequences to do so and you have not. You need to ask yourself what do you need and what do you want.
It does not matter if you want to tell M or H or others or do something else. The only thing matter is when YOU decide for yourself what to do, and it will work for you, regardless of your decision.
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