for costanza

i am so sorry for what i do and did and will do. i must be really annoying and i know it. i know my constant whining about being sad all the time makes you exhausted. i know i'm too much for you and i'm so so sorry for this.

but i just wish you didn't have the ability to say all the wrong things. Your words hurt a bit too much, i don't like it when you call me ridiculous or a dumbass. i know you don't mean it but i don't like it.

i respect your boundaries, i respect it when you don't wanna talk about your own stuff, and if one day you decide to tell me everything i will support you. You know i'm there for you.

i have no right to say this but: why did you treat me like that? you basically told me you were tired of me and that i should "distract" myself. i'm sorry i cope in different ways, i just wanna listen to sad songs and cry all day. THATS IT THEN WHY DID YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SH*T??

i got defensive, im sorry

i guess i just wanted you to say "im here and i love you, it will be over soon"

but you didn't say that

you know you're all i have

(sorry for terrible grammar, i just wanna get the thoughts out)