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So my wife cry's and feels depressed almost everyday saying that she feels that she cannot land a job and contribute to the family.I try to motivate her saying keep on trying but she continues to smoke that stuff every Friday with the neighbors am I right to be mad at her because of it. The reason I get mad is if she gets a call I know she will get drug tested and fail which means she will not get the job and continue to be depress. Feel like I cannot help the situation.
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Sounds like she might be addicted. She knows it has negative effects on her life, yet she continues to do it.
This might suck to read, but I think you need to draw a hard boundary here and if she crosses it, it might be time to leave.
The only way she's going to realize what she's lost will be when she hits rock bottom. You've already talked to her, I'm imagining you've done so several times.
It may suck and maybe you're afraid no one else will love you. But you've gotta love yourself enough to know when to walk away.
This isn't some difficult circumstance, it's what she's been choosing and she isn't going to stop that for you. Even if she wants to.
Just some food for thought
ReplyI don’t see why she feels depressed and cry’s if she Isn’t giving it her all by quitting smoking for awhile It seems like deep down she doesn’t really want a job
ReplyI also believe that. I don't know if I should be mad about it or just let her do her own thing. She says that I am controlling but I just see so much potential and her just doing this makes me angry I threatened her that it's affecting our relationship and it seems like she doesn't care.
ReplyHonestly I think the best time to bring it up to her would be when she’s displaying the depression. “Well hun keep trying and maybe stop smoking on Fridays in case you do get a potential employer to call you. What if they want to hire you really quickly and drug test you. You won’t be prepared and you’ll be really depressed if an opportunity presents itself and you don’t get it bc of the drug test.” Nice way to say it/ make her think about it
ReplyThanks for the advice
ReplyNo problem,..also, tell her to try a temp agency like express employment or prologistix. They usually have administrative & warehouse positions readily available
ReplyI don't think she really wants to work at all. She says she 's depressed but see if she cheers up on a Friday when she is off to the neighbours.
ReplyNobody I know wants to work .... some are just better at not complaining about it. OR have just accepted the fact that it’s apart of life...which is completely insane to me but I wish I could accept it. I switch jobs a lot so I understand
ReplyShe does cheer up when's she is off to the neighbors.
Replyyou have every right to be mad. She is complaining but she is not helping herself, so it must not be as important to her as she portrays. If you have kids then you need to do what is best for them and she needs to understand this. I watched my mom complain about needing money but refusing to work. she is choosing to not contribute by refusing to stop smoking that stuff. That is on her and you are not in the wrong for feeling upset. Don't coddle her, she needs to realize what she is doing.
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