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I've felt pretty content for the last couple of months. been working alot, in a good (not great) but good mental state. made some new amazing friends and have been finally living my life but i feel like it's all going to start crumbling down after tomorrow. i don't know what to do i have so many thoughts and worries running threw my head and it's starting to stress me out. i've been trying not to think about it as much as possible but time is moving faster and faster and pretty soon (within a couple of hours to be exact) it'll be to late and my thinking will be over. it'll be back to the life i lived before the life of dread and worry and not being able to do what i want or be what i want or not even being able to leave my house unless im working or who even knows if im going to be able to work anymore. everything is gonna start getting so complicated and i feel like i have no where to turn or no one to talk to cause there just going to tell me that im being stupid and that it's not a big deal. sometimes i just hate having younger people that i have to take part in looking after. it hinders my life in so many ways that it makes me go crazy. don't get me wrong i love them to death but it's not fair i've had to suffer almost all of my life because of someone elses desitions to have kids. i cant wait to get out of here and move out so i don't have to worry about any of this stuff anymore. it's just so....so....ugh i don't even know anymore. im scared the thought are going to start coming back and im not going to be able to keep from crying myself to sleep at night hating my life again.
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ReplyI was in a good streak of having a positive attitude for two days than I had in a long time and then I went back to my normal self for a few days. Today is a new day and will start again on the good streak of positive thoughts too.
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