What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
you know whats sad? how everyone in your life is basically waiting for you to fail. well, not everyone. in my life, its my family that is always waiting for me to fail. i havent been able to keep a job more than 6 months, i cant loose weight, and everytime i try to do my braces i end up forgetting about it. i got told by my own grandma that she was disappointed and that she isnt going to hold her breath this time. as if i had already failed. all i do is try to make everyone in my life happy. my family, friends, even my boyfriend. yesterday was our anniversary. i baked for hours, made myself dizzy, and he fell asleep. didnt even bother to turn the tv off, or the light. just layed there while i busted my butt off for him. i didnt even eat dinner until i ordered some wings and had them delivered, but that wasnt until after 8 p.m. i know i said in a earlier post that i felt invisible.. but today has proven it to me. i know i should think about his role in my life. i love him, i want to marry him. but any time i bring up engagement he shuts it down. i basically shut down the idea until my best friend got engaged. i never thought i would be jealous of her until now. she is finally getting the happily ever after both of us have wanted for years. but she didnt have to wait until her mid 20's. she didnt have to go through the trauma i went through. she didnt have to feel alone at all because she was the popular one out of the friend group. everyone always feels different even when im in the same room as them. you know the saying "ive never felt so alone in a room full of people"? well i have been feeling that for weeks now and nothing has changed. despite me changing everything about my day to day life. now i dont even know if i matter.. if i were to go away if anyone would notice or care...
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Just this
I’ve just realized that I’ve surrounded myself with people who don’t believe I can achieve my dreams. They deem me stupid, and I’ve just now realized th...
-
ugh
my mom yelled at me today about school and it made me feel really stupid. And now I feel worse because I’m being trolled on the other vent website I’m using...
You deserve better. Maybe it's time to address things.
If your boyfriend falls asleep, talk to him about how hard you worked and brainstorm ways you both can make it better (a relationship is a partnership and it isn't healthy to let him get away with things, despite how much you love him).
When your family tells you again that they were expecting you to fail, address it. Tell them how it makes you feel, and that it is actually a setback. Maybe talk about how they could help you accomplish your goals, rather than watch as you struggle.
Finally, address the issues that you have with yourself. Set goal, get help enforcing those goals. Work on getting yourself in a better situation and address your trauma. If you are feeling right now that nothing has changed, stop waiting. You can be your own superhero and you can defend yourself in your relationships with your partner, family, and self. I know you can do it!
You deserve happiness and a good life. Please don't go away and rob yourself of any chance to find what you need. You are strong and you are loved.
I might also note that your family's "disappointment" is also a show of love. It may not be the most helpful way to express it, but it is. When a parent says something like "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed," it means that they see your potential and just wish you could harness it. Ask them to help you on your journey and make that relationship healthier. They love you, but they need you to ask for them to show it.
Sorry this is so confusing, but I hope you get the message. You can do this and you don't have to give up. There are people in your life who can help if you repair your relationships together.
Lots of love to you <3
ReplyInvisible girl, guys aren't into anniversaries like girls are. Have a talk to him about the way you feel and how he treats you. Maybe he shuts you down whenever you mention getting engaged because he wants to surprise you with the idea of the engagement when he proposes to you one day. Stop comparing yourself to your friend because that is no good. Be yourself and do your own thing. Let her do her thing. I hope you turn visible again and I wish you the best.
Reply