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This is just my opinion and in no way do I want to push this onto anyone. Also no this isn't about me. just something I've been thinking about. This is honestly just a rant.
If they cheat on you they don't love you. Simple as that. It doesn't matter if you've been together a week or years. Someone who cheats is immature, insecure, they don't respect you nor do they love you. Regardless of what they say to you or themselves to make you believe that they feel love for you, it's not. Take their disgusting behavior as a lesson and move on. No second chances. Frankly, cheaters carry baggage and issues that are theirs and theirs alone. You are in no way obligated, nor should you fix them. It's their personal problem. Save yourself the pain and the disrespect. You are worth so much more. Both of you deserve happiness but that doesn't mean together.
And for those who know the person is in a relationship before getting involved, or you continue being involved after finding out, you are gross too. Don't hide behind the idea that you don't owe the person being cheated on loyalty. You owe them respect. How can you, personally, ever want respect in a relationship if you aren't willing to give it to others? You are just as guilty as the cheater. And no. If he/she cheats with to be with you, then they'll cheat on you too. You're not special to them. If you were, they would make things official with you. The fact that you would have to hide with them speaks volumes about how they actually see you.
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It is a fact that if you cheat on someone you don't love him.. same as when you put your hands on a significant other... No person wants to cause physical or emotional pain someone they love, someone they claim to be in love with... Some people don't want to admit it, and get angry or offended when this is said, but it doesn't make it any less true. And if you wanna make things work, I'm not one to judge. But my personal feeling is that I can't be with someone who I know for a fact doesn't love me, and has no respect for me. But if that's what they like, all the power to that person.
ReplyI completely agree. everyone is free to do what they want. but honestly, I have never seen someone end up miserable by drawing strict boundaries when it comes to cheating. I have only ever seen people in pain when they accept cheating or give second chances.
ReplyA rehabilitated cheater here...which incidentally it's not true that once a cheater always a cheater (I haven't cheated in 15 years.. as long as I've been married.) Before marriage, however, oh boy. The main reason people cheat: they are selfish. The excuses people give for cheating:
1. I was drunk.
2. She/He was hot.
3. My boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse cheated first.
But, yes it's true, the selfish act of cheating is betrayal. And betrayal hurts those who are betrayed. The most important critical thing is that the cheating is revealed so that the victim of the cheating can decide to:
a. Move on.
b. Stay in the relationship and get even.
c. Stay in the relationship, accept the cheating, forgive the cheater and risk the action happening again (which it usually does until the cheater hits rock bottom from his selfish and hurtful actions).
Love, in all its colors, has at its core.... sacrifice. For love, we sacrifice ourselves, whether its the soldier who leaves his family behind to go on a 6 month deployment, the single mother who studies at night and works during the day to get a better job for her 2 kids, the child who doesn't ask for the expensive Christmas toy because he knows dad is not working... sacrifice is at the core of true love. And so before I matured and learned the true meaning of love, I was a cheater.
Why do we have so much faith in love, something we cannot prove exists, something we cannot hold, sell or buy, something no scientist anywhere on earth will find in an autopsy next to the last meal we had or alongside the disease that ravaged us.. the love we have for our romance, our mom, brother, sister, child, pet, country, spouse, etc. Why do we have so much faith in love, to the point we're willing to die for it?
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
John 4:8 ESV
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
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