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Everything feels like it is ending, and I am letting it. I am so tired. So tired of everything. I am tired of you telling me that everything is this world is my fault. I am tired of carrying the emotional weight of trying to make you happy - an increasingly impossible task. I am tired of listening to our child ask why is Daddy so angry all the time, and asking if you will ever be nice again. I am tired of your refusal to understand that it takes two - we both have issues. I am tired of your refusal to talk to a professional, and your refusal to allow me to talk to a professional. I am tired of you issuing edicts. I am tired of you telling me that I am not allowed to talk to anyone about our family (even the few friends I have). I am tried of you trying to teach our child that one cannot talk to outsiders. This is going to be a problem for the child and inhibit the ability for the child to communicate. I am tired of you believing that YOU get to say whatever you want with impunity, but that those around you are not allow to do the same. That is ridiculous and so unhealthy.
I just don't have the energy anymore. I am trying to just let the things you say wash over me. I see how much that enrages you, but I am not fighting back anymore. I have not been the same since my father passed, and you telling me to "get over it" and turning my statement into a diatribe about how close YOU and my father were is not at all helpful. You cannot dictate to another how they mourn or how long it takes. You are slowly killing me...
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*virtual hug* I don't know what you are going through. But I hope you seek the help you need. <3 You know what to do. Stay strong. You know what is best for you and your family.
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