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If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I know my parents are trying to help me. I know they’re worried about me and want me to have the best life possible. But whenever we’re together it’s like a piece doesn’t click. I can never truly be happy around them because I’m always so scared they’ll find out that I’m not okay. My mind started noticing my eating disorder and I told her it was just because of my period and stress. My brother told me I need therapy because he’s the only one I’ve opened up to about the trauma I went through in middle school. My dad tries to keep things light and makes jokes out of everything, but it’s not enough. They’re trying to hard to give me a great life, so how do I tell them I don’t want it? How do I tell them that I would rather die than gain another 5 pounds or just pop a bunch of pills rather than get a B on a test. I don’t know how to tell them, and sometimes I think it might be easier to let them know after I’m gone. To tell them it’s not their fault through a note as they stand in my vacant room. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to let them wonder.
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EMT arrived on scene to the aftermath with someone who tried this to their own family, the father was mentally broken after that. It does not envoke justice or revenge, and it does not help anyone grow as a person. If your parents seem "Emotionally unavailable," that is not uncommon, my parents were similar, but they followed when I said I needed help. If you feel stressed about assignments, think about what the outcome is you fear. They may be trying to help you overcome the stress by offering their energy to you, trying to help by giving you something more uplifting to focus on. Balance is good, work and rest can be had, and you have many resources open to you. Take your time, you are not a failure, and know we love you.
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