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I don't really think I'm 'living'. I'm just existing, repeating a cycle each day. I have barely a couple of friends. I say barely because I don't think even my 'best friend' thinks of me as a friend anymore.
by nature I'm very quiet. I don't mind sitting in the corner, reading something or doing my own thing. I like being alone at times. But I don't want to be lonely. I wish I had a friend who understands, rather than force me to speak up or tease me for being quiet.
I have social anxiety. But I don't think my parents or anyone else I know, think that's a real thing. They just want me to have confidence, I know they think for my good, but I can't I tell you. I literally am not able to ask the employee at the store, I'd rather look for the item for hours. Okay? I'd rather not raise my hand and bring attention to myself. No. Sorry, that's not my thing. Wish it was.
The only person who gets me, who knows what I feel, and doesn't judge me for it is someone I haven't seen. That person is my virtual friend, we've been friends for 2 years now. Crazy that she cares more than my so called best friend. My Virtual friend is 2 years older than me. And she's like my sister to me. And oh, i don't even have any biological siblings.
I've taken to writing poems, stories. They aren't any good. But atleast my OC has a better world than me. I practically live inside my own world now. I have a storyline which I continue each day, like a long continuous daydream. I do that at night too. If it's not too much, could I have someone to talk to in the comments? About anything is okay, books, fandoms( if you're into them) , music, world problems? , cool poems or stories you read.. thank you
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Replysorry, I didn't get you?
ReplyI understand you so much. I feel this exact same way, and also struggle with Social Anxiety. I don't think I have related with someone this much. Please know that there are people out there that will understand you. Real friends will understand you for who you are. I know how you feel about your virtual friend, because I feel that same way with mine. I have known them for almost 4 years, and they have been there for me more than my real friends. Maybe your parents aren't even sure that you struggle with Social Anxiety, and just believe your quiet? My parents know that I have Social Anxiety, but just thought that I would grow out of it somehow. Someone out there would be happy to be your friend. It's okay to just want to do your own thing, and be who you want to be so don't let people judge you. Also, I bet your poems and stories are really good by the way. Wishing you the best!
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