Mr. Owl

How many kicks does it take to shatter a human soul?

Let's find out...

A 1.

A 2...

A 3...

Fuck me!! I don't deserve anything! I'm worthless, I hate this body! I hate this mind! I hate this place! I fucking HATE me!!

No one knows and yet everyone does. I'm not worthy of love or time. I'm just a fucking trailer trash fucking piece of human excrement that fell out of some poor woman's ass!!

Maybe they found me under a fucking rock, tried to rehab me and just swapped me own with some unwitting parents and that's how I came into the fucking household that I did!

But hell, I deserved it, right? I deserved all that shit!! Fuck me for growing brown hair and not blonde! Fuck me for having hazel eyes instead of blue!

How dare I go against what my father desired?! Right!! Fuck me!

That's why I had to be sent off, to he beaten, molested and broken in every way humanly possible! Because I was born a curse on this planet!

Boy, this sure was a great joke God! Lolooolololololromfalmao!! Yep! I fucking am getting exactly what i deserve, ain't I? FUCK ME!!

Oh but that still wasn't enough torment, oh no... not by a fucking long shot.

Better make sure this mind is programmed to desire a connection it will NEVER KNOW. Can't have this particular soul gaining any sense of hope now, can we? FUCK ME!!

Yeah just keep throwing it in my fucking worthless face!! No one could EVER love a fucking monstrosity like me! I'd kill myself but God won't fucking let me leave!!

Apparently I haven't suffered enough just yet!

So let's give this guy a kid, oh and make sure that the woman splits with him after 7 FUCKING YEARS and takes the kid so he can never see his child again. Sounds like a FUCKING PLAN GOD!! FUUUUCKK ME!!

but wait... there's more! Call within the next 30 minutes and we'll toss in a full term pregnancy that will be recalled just 1 week before birth! That'll show this guy to believe he could have a family! FUCK ME!! Right?!

And yet, even with this great deal!! There's STILL more! Order in the next 5 minutes and get a 5 year relationship with yet another mother who will split and hid the kid... ABSOLUTELY FREE!!

[Long inhale]

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!!!!!

"Oh my! That was the loudest profanity I've ever heard"

And for special buyers who order with the code "worthless" get an additional 2 year relationship that starts off allowing him to finally believe, just to break him in the last remaining 6 months. Watch him struggle and writhe to try to work out a hopeless situation because WHY NOT?!

Then, let's make sure he stays down for the count this time. He's completely broken by now. No one could survive all that with any sense of hope remaining.

That way, when he finally dies and we finally meet and he starts crying about how fucked his life was, I can simply reply;

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess

A 3.