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It1s 10pm and I'd like to think I made it through the day, but thats not really true. Today I spent the day trying to keep busy, keep my mind busy it was that kinda day. A day where im a little more in my head than I'd like to be and thats scary.
I found myself thinking things that were scary even to myself and it scared me bc it was thoughts I had when I was a teenager.
I wonder how does a person feel so alone when they have so many people around them? there are people out there without truly no one? how can I be selfish enough to feel alone when im not?
Everything hurts and it feels like im about to explode with every feeling ive kept inside for so many years and its terrifying and I feel helpless another day truly just feels like such a bother its like im in constant survival mode and its exhausting, some days I can lie to myself and say "look at that you got this!! you can do this! and youre doing amazing" and sometimes I can make myself believe that.
I dont really know where im going with this, maybe it just helps putting some thoughts into words? who know this might not even make sense to anyone out there.
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Replyyes!! thats exactly it its a never ending lie you tell yourself. Thank you for this its nice to know someone understands truly
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