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Dear you.
I hope you've been fairing well. As the time goes on I sometimes forget your face and then you come swiftly into my dreams to reclaim your spot at my heart. The dreams are never bad, it always ends with me in your arms with tears streaming down my face because that's when I know it's just a dream. I wake up in sadness to know that when I turn to the empty spot where you use to lay it's just that... empty.
I write to you as if you are someone who has passed and went onto another planet but you are someone who is very much alive just no longer alive in my world. I wish things were different and the friendship we had was still blooming, but sometimes things just don't happen the way we like. It's such a hard pill to swallow but just like every pill eventually it'll go down. It's funny, I see relationships bloom or I see them die, and it seems like everyone has that sense of peace to continue, why is it so hard for me? Are you experiencing the same? Every food, movie, song, activities that I do somehow always link me back to you. I can't stand to hang out with friends, because I look at the empty spot next to me and long for you to be beside me where you belong. This was never suppose to happen. Don't you agree? Or has the life you've built to aggressively rid of me make you think differently? Not the you I know. We all change, which I'm not blinded to, what I am blinded to is how abrupt, how viscous, and vile you changed without even a blink of an eye. Are you even remorseful? Or has the thoughts of other persuaded you differently? This isn't to attack you love, closure is something I have longed for for such a long time. But sometimes closure is not what we get, and that my friend, is such a hard pill to swallow, but I'm downing another glass of water in hopes it goes down just a bit faster.
I hope youre fairing well.
xoxo.
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"what I am blinded to is how abrupt, how viscous, and vile you changed without even a blink of an eye."
The same thing happened to me, however, after working more on getting myself in a healthy place, I can actually see that the signs were there all along, and I just didn't have the tools to recognize them at the time. Is it possible, that there could have been signs there all along, and that you just didn't see them, or didn't want to see them?
ReplyThe signs were hidden very well, they didn't show until after the break up.
I don't regret what i have done for myself, but i often am troubled by the past. I moved to a different state afterwards and built myself up to be someone who I would've envied at that time.
Reply