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I’m constantly fighting with my mom. Ur gonna need context tho. I was asking my brother about one of the teachers we share about if he would exempt students with bad anxiety from presenting in front of the class, he was ignoring me but my mom overheard and asked me about it. (I have very bad social anxiety. Presenting makes me shake really badly and my voice warbles and if I’m really stressed I’ve almost cried in front of a class) I told her this and a few minutes later when I was talking about careers my assessment gave me (the top one politics) she said “well you could never do that if you can’t even present. You can’t give speeches” and the way she said it to me sounded condescending and a bit mean. So I said under my breath “thanks for the encouragement” and she got all mad at me and my brothers got mad at me telling me I blew everything out of proportion. She said I tease her all the time amd she thought I could “take a joke”. She kept yelling a bit and telling me I always get defensive and that i want to pick a fight with her. I don’t think I try to pick fights with her but now I don’t even know. I’m crying rn and I just wish I could die. Like, if I died rn I wouldn’t even care. I’d welcome death with open arms. I hate her I don’t ever want to talk to her, much less pick fights with her. I’m not suicidal nor do I self harm but i always get that feeling after we fight. We fight so much I hate it
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You fight because you are growing or have grown away from your childhood and you are becoming more independent. Your mother still sees you as a child and expects you to live under her rules. That was nasty of her to say that to you when she should have been helping you. Maybe just keep away from her and only talk to other family members. Maybe she is jealous of you because her youth is gone and now you have yours. Who knows? If you want you can write a few speeches, then after you learn one say it to your family (don't include your mother), or friends. Do this with each speech to build up your confidence. Good luck.
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