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I was afraid... I didn't know how to love you. I didn't know how to let you love me. I was afraid that once I get used to you, I would go crazy once I lose you. I told you about that, and you said that you're not going anywhere... where are you now? I need you, I miss you, I still love you. You probably don't feel the same anymore. You probably just see me as someone crazy who bugs you. I meant every word I said in the last text I sent you, but something I didn't mention was that I still love you the same. There's no day that I did not thought about you.
When I sent that text, I really hoped that you would not text back, but every time an unknown number messages me, I get so nervous. When I found out that it's not from you, I admit, I was relieved but I was disappointed at the same time. So yeah... I did removed you from my contacts, but your number is in my head. I can't help it. I deleted your number and I'm just hoping that I would forget it soon. I really tried to restrain myself from texting you because you probably don't want me to. I just texted you because I think that text would give us both closure, even just a little bit.
I'm reading the diary I wrote when you we're still in my life. It hurts to read the promises you made because none of them were fulfilled. I'm truly better now, but it still hurts. At least, I don't cry every single night, unlike before. At least, I don't feel pain every time I open my eyes in the morning, knowing that you're not with me anymore. At least, I can smile throughout the day without hiding painful tears.
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