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*Sigh*
This is a long story, grab your popcorn.
You know that feeling when your really happy, and you're about to tell someone you love them, and then they say one word- and suddenly you want to murder them??
I get this feeling a lot when I talk to my mother.
I do love her, but-
Yesterday we got into an argument. I told her that she didn't listen to me.
That she never noticed anything I did.
My dad asked me if I'd rather go to my bed, and not have any internet. I WANTED to tell him nothing they could do to make my world worse. I WANTED to tell him that the monsters INSIDE my head were so much worse than than the ones he could try to create. I WANTED to tell him anything he would do was minor and it wouldn't matter, and that I hate my life. But I ACTUALLY told him that sometimes it would be preferable.
I WANTED to yell and scream at them, tell them that yeah, my life might SEEM prefect to them, and it MIGHT be to anyone else who live it, but to me, it was a living, thriving hell.
I know I'm just being selfish. and that my life is a good thing. that I shouldn't say such things. that so many people would trade anything for my life.
Yeah, I hated myself, my mother, my father, my sister, my brothers (excluding the younger ones) my life, my entire world.
Sorry for the waste of time.
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You’re just so me!
Well I guess we’re all in some stranded forest—alone. We could rather be all together and maybe that might make our lives better at least. And you are not selfish. It happens. It’s fine. You do love your family. It’s just that they couldn’t be much more better for you.
Take care.
ReplyYou are probably a teenager and so your brain is still developing and you are running on hormones. At the same time you have left your childhood behind and are becoming more and more independent. However, your parents still treat you like a child and expect you to obey their rules. So of course there are arguments. You should try to appreciate your life and all that you have instead of being so negative about it. One day you will leave home and all of this will be gone.
ReplyI feel that! Parents always have to have the upper hand (at least mine do), and they don't acknowledge our struggles. They think they can fix everything with a chore or a consequense.
Reply