What are you looking for?
3 years ago · · depressed,
If I were to go back in time and look at myself now, who I've become. I would be so disappointed. That's an understatement, I would be devestated. I'm not a terrible person. However, I'm far from what I expected myself to be. So of my biggest problems are I'm lazy, especially lately. I'm pretty much anti social. I have a bad habit I can't seem to shake. Ive also been depressed for so long I can't even remember being happy. I spend most of my time telling myself this is it, I'm going to finally change and take initiative and start working towards being who I should be. It seems I just never can. Maybe I've become to comfortable like this. Maybe I just fear the unknown. I want to see the world. Travel to different countries. Explore. Yet, I can't even look at myself and be proud. Be content. Over the years, all I have done is think, spend time in my head. All I have found is what a dark place it is. The more I think, the darker it gets. You don't realize how precious time is, until you lve wasted a good amount of it. Or until someone you lives passes. It's weird. I've been depressed for so long. I feel as if I'm in a limbo of nothingness. I just don't really feel anything anymore. If I do it's just all negative feelings. People say it's just the way you think. Think positively for once man. My mind won't allow me. No matter how hard I try and think positively it doesn't work. I ask myself every morning, what do I have to do today to finally accept who I am? It seems no matter how much I remind myseof I fail.