need love advice, help!!

I dated an ex--we'll call him "X"-- for six years on and off, and our longest time together consecutively was just under a year. the divides in our relationship came mainly from life changes/difference in growth patterns, i.e. times we were in college, where we went to college, life paths, etc. After those six years, I finally decided it was time to move on. I felt sparks with another guy, John, and dated him for a year only. During our relationship, we had a rough patch that really made me realize I was not in love with john, and I drunkenly texted X telling him I missed him, that I loved him, and that I wanted to be with him. I broke up with John because I couldnt stop thinking about X, who was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything.

After that text, he responded asking if what I said was true, and I said it didnt matter since he was in a relationship and was happy with someone else. Since then, I started dating my current boyfriend, and I've felt so happy, secure, safe, and loved with him. We've only just recently gone long distance for our winter break, and our communication is TERRIBLE. he has a long work day, and were in two entirely different time zones, so it makes communicating even harder. While we talk, its rarely ever long and not much emotion is shown on his part. It makes me feel upset because I know I'm pouring everything into my boyfriend and he would do the same if he wasn't so drained all the time. Needless to say, I'm starting to think of X, not in the sense that I want to break up with my current boyfriend (X also has a new girlfriend), but i think of him in the sense that he constantly gave me everything 24/7, and though sometimes our interactions were immature and childish (we were younger then, obviously), i miss knowing someone was always going to drop everything they had to do in order to make me feel loved. I feel guilty for this. Does anybody have any advice or insight for me? Anything helps.