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Today is December 25th, 2020. Christmas. i haven't really been super into the whole christmas spirit in a couple of years but this year has been the worst. no smilies, no cheer, no joy no anything. this year i couldn't be with any of my family. im here with my siblings (- 2) and my brother. my father, aunt, and cousin, some of my favorite people in the world aren't here. now you might be thinking to yourself "that sucks but at least your with your mom and some of your siblings so why is it so bad?" well thats simple, my mother, the women who birthed me and my siblings and the women who partially raised us, isn't here. she would rather spend thanksgiving with her family, her mother and her father and brother and god knows who ever else. i lost my grandmother a couple of years ago and lost my grandfather not to long ago this year so you would think as the only technically granfparents that her parents would want to see us right ? would want to have us over ? maybe even send a merry christmas message ? nope, nothing, its always been nothing with them. they've never cared and yet my mother decides to move all of us 7 hours away from the family, the ONLY family that we have left that actually cares about us ? and you would think that a mother would want to spend christmas with her kids or at least half of it but nope not at all. but i mean what should i expect ? she doesn't know how to be a mother. she doesn't make sure her kids are bathed, doesn't brush their teeth, doesnt make my sister take her medicine, barley makes sure they're fed just yells at them if they even mention the fact that they're hungry or thirsty. what kind of mother does that ? oh yeah mine, the type who has everyone in this town and everyone in this world that knows her thinking that shes this perfect women who takes care of her family when in reality her OLDER kids take care of her younger ones. WE take care of the family not her and im tired of everyone giving her praise for something that shes NOT DOING !!!! im so sick of it, im sick of her im sick of living like this. i wish i could just take my little siblings and go to my dads but no she wont let them happy, not because she would miss them no of course not but because if she loses them, she loses her ability to live out here and god forbid she looses her ability to live in this stupid, alcoholic overpriced town.
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Holy shit I have been through this exact situation. I want to give you encouraging words but it really only got better when she died. I wasn't allowed to be happy and I got yelled at when I didn't do her work as a caretaker. I hated everything and everyone just pretended I was happy because they didn't wanna deal with it. I'm sorry you have to be in that situation, merry christmas from me if that matters.
Replyit matters a lot more then you think it does. thank you so much, just knowing that someone understands what I'm going threw and what I've had to go threw helps me so thank you <3
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