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i'd like to think summer 2020 was one of the best summers of my life, even though you broke my heart. I miss our midnight convocations, even though I never really knew what to say. we both said some things, and I'm not trying to sound like the victim here but what you said broke me. I had told you my deepest secret, something no one else knows and I cant say what you said but it hurt. it really hurt to know that someone who I considered to be in love with could say such things. your apology was what made me realise what I was doing. I thought I was in love, I really did, but I took a step back and it made me realise that I wasn't. I loved the attention you gave me and so I used that to my advantage and made you feel sorry for the smallest of things that you'd done wrong. I had victimised myself in every situation possible. and you were right, when it came down to it, I didn't care about you or anyone else. i'd go days without talking to you and saw no problem in that but as soon as you'd ask me why im ignoring you, id get defensive and claim I was busy or sleeping but in reality, I was ignoring you and honestly, sometimes I forget you were even there. its been 107 days since we last spoke and I wonder do you ever think of me like I think of you? its hard for me to show emotion when Its so easy for me to twist the whole situation into making me the victim but im starting to realise what I put you through. I wasted your time. you deserve someone better than me and who ever it is, I hope they make you happy. Bradley im sorry.
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