What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Do you ever feel like you've ruined all your chances at having a soulmate?
3 years ago · 2 · Need Advice, +6
500
I'm talking about platonic soulmates. I felt like I had two. First one was my high school best friend, we understood each other from half-word, often had the same thoughts, she could even guess what song I'm thinking about, stuff like that. I had major mental problems at 11th grade and after that dropped out because I didn't pass one subject and couldn't go on with them. I started working, found a job I really love but I had very little free time and slowly, but surely we grew apart. I see her only 2 to 3 times a year now, because years passed and we're both busy. When we're together, it still feels the same, but still too much has changed. Idk how to talk with her (as in chat online) anymore, I feel like I'm talking too much about myself and she rarely ever tells me anything too, so we can go months on without interaction.
Near end of 10th grade, I also started talking to another girl online, we shared the same interests in music and some other things too, and over time she became just as important to me as the first friend, although I've never actually met her (we live about 1300 km away from each other). We talked every single day for more than 2 years before fallout, filmed videos for each other just talking about whatever, we helped each other a lot with our problems and I really felt like she was my true soulmate. Unfortunately this time I was the one who ruined it. I met a guy at work who eventually asked me out and we got together and that's when it went wrong. We started living together, I got pregnant, there was so much change in my life and as I had never lived with anyone before (I lived alone since I was 16 till at 20 I met him), I guess I didn't want him to see that I'm just sitting by phone or pc all day and as months went by, I didn't notice as she and I fell apart. She texted me shorter and shorter messages, then often just sent tweets with no caption about something we like and i also replied shortly, until one day I noticed I haven't been answering her for like 2 days. I apologised, we had a deep, hurtful talk when I finally realised what have I done, neglecting my dearest person in the world, but the damage was done no matter how much I apologised. We kept talking, but it wasn't the same. Since then it's been up and down, one time we didn't talk for even 3 months, but it was so painful that i tried and tried again. We're fine now but we'll never be the same anymore, we don't talk every day, she doesn't tell me about her life unless I ask, and I'm afraid to even call her a friend publicly, in fear she doesn't feel lie that, much less a best friend. Over these years she's gottten more friends online and she's so much sweeter talking with them that I just feel even worse, knowing it could've been different.
I have other friends, of course, and I love them a lot too, but I'm pretty sure I'll never have such deep connection with anyone as I had with them. Anyone else had experienced something like that?
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
Yes, I have such feelings. But let's leave everything on destiny. If someone is meant to be with us. They will be with us at last.
Replytrue, that's how I like to think as well, nothing good ever comes out of forcing anything. Thank you for reading!
Reply