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hey readers,
let me give u a little bit of an introduction abt myself. Iam 15, 16-to be. Iam currently in 9th grade. I am considered as a good student. I understand well and sometimes explain to other people. In my 6th and 7th grades, my class percentages was always in their 90's. I have always taken care of my hw, assignments, test...literally EVERY SINGLE THING!... it was sort of....a way to relieve my stress and anxiety. in 8th grade, First semester i was shocked with my percentage when it went back to the early 80's....I didnt know what to do. My parents, espically my dad were disappointed and they NATURALLY blamed it on the time i spent on the laptop. He blamed mom and swore as much as he can. I hated it. 'Everything went back to how it used to be' i thought. Dad always looked at me as if i was an ungrateful brat even though i spent most of my day studying. He stopped doing that eventually but it still hurt. Mom was understanding bcs she saw the whole learning process...the teachers werent good and i had to teach everything by myself...thats when online classes came...as everyone already know, EVERYTHING WENT WORSE. My grades werent improving and all bcs of SILLY MISTAKES during exam i finished 8th grades with unpleasing grades. Ninth grade started and i promised myself to study until i die. I stayed HOURS studying and doing homework. Mid-terms exams were approaching and my studying intensified but......suddenly mom travelled with my sis for abroad college and the caring for my younger brother was all on me....DURING MID-TERM exams....i used to cryy....EVERY SINGLE DAY from the exhaustion and exam stress. I finished my exams after doing pretty bad on them and mom came back. My grades came out and mom came back and i got....again! an 80 percentage. I got fed up at how my parents looked at me and how i was paying uncountable amount of hours on my studies but without good results. There was the first semester exam, it was my last option for this term...I studied hard again and this time...prepared 2 weeks before the exam ...6, 7 papers in ONE FUKING HOUR...online again! I said to myself 'fine i can do it....but turns out that even after that..nothing worked...the result came out this monday and i was more than excited to see it...I checked my grades and to my shock....it again .....an 80's percentage...I CRIED MY EYES OUT..i was tired....really tired guys. I tried my best and yet...nothing...LITERALLY NOTHING!!!... my dad saw my results today and said tomy elder sis..."see, this is the result of sitting on the laptop countless hours, chatting to strangers".....just...what should i do....iam tired....why DO I NEED TO SHOW EVERYONE IAM STUDYING...just why.....i just wanna die....i really just wanna die....My anxiety and depression increased....but whenever i say them....they say...."depression?anxiety? why? u r living, eating, sleeping in a place where everything is availabe"....i think having depression and anxiety isnt allowed in this household.....my learning process doesnt matter to him....ONLY THE FINAL RESULT...what should i do? really....what should i do?
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I have a similar situation. recently my grades dropped because of some things and it sucks. My parents think I'm not trying anymore. But, I think you're doing great. I know some of us seek the approval we need from our parents that we did great but some expectations are too high. B's and A's are great. You have to start realizing that 80% is great. You're doing a great job. You need to hear that from someone other than your parents. You're trying your best.
ReplyWell, it's tough. 80 isn't bad seriously. Now a days it's hard to study online. The real point of studying is for gaining knowledge and understanding what you've learnt not the grades. But if you live in Asia or India then it can't be helped. Grades are life and they literally decide your future. If you enjoy studying then grades don't really matter and they'll always be high if you understand everything better. You're working hard for it and that's the only thing you can do. But according to my experiences, you can keep studying only if you enjoy it and when you enjoy it then nothing can stop you from getting high grades. Studying is fun. But if you don't enjoy then just push yourself to the limits and get away with this studying phase soon.
And 80 isn't a bad score too, don't feel sad and disappointed in yourself because your dad is being ignorant about your efforts. So such opinions, even if they're of your dad, don't matter. Just keep getting higher and higher with everything you've got. There's still lot of study and learn. After your 12th grade you'll need to do everything on your own and select a career where you feel you can do it. Dont fall for peer pressure, parental pressure and any pressure and don't think you're something less just because your grades don't satisfy the eyes of those strangers. Do something where you win and enjoy.
Good luck. ^^
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